Sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough words to express the multitudes a single woman can contain in the social conditioning we grew up in, and yet you seem to have done it. Don’t let them dim your light—they’re worried if we get too bright we’ll use it it burn this all down.
I was coming here to write my own comment but something about this "Sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough words to express the multitudes a single woman can contain" feels like you already said it better than i could.
This wasn't an easy post to read. Some of it was downright uncomfortable (some of it in the way that allows me to distance myself from the story and some of it that puts me and my experiences squarely and squirmingly in the crosshairs of the story), but it was so fucking honest that sitting with the discomfort seemed like a really important choice.
Thank you for writing this. It made me think of this quote from Lidia Yuknavitch (if you don't read her, go and do so immediately, she writes her own sluttiness like a master)
"We are allowed to tell the full range of our sexual experiences and the range of what desire means to us. This is a call to arms. You people need to stop pussing out. You need to start writing that stuff. If we don’t start telling that story people are going to think that 50 Shades Of Gray is the deal, and that is criminal. I am literally pleading with anyone who hears this. Please start writing truthful stories, contradictory stories, ambivalent stories, passionate, angry stories about sex and desire.“
This is a strong a powerful story and a well written one to boot - I found this post after starting with your "come down here with me" post. Rather than adding an extra comment I wanted to reply on this one as it pretty much summed up my thoughts exactly.
The sad part for me is that people will hate you for being who you are but love you for faking it because most lack your courage to be there authentic selves so the dwell in a world of fake as relationships to please people who don’t care about them unhappy until they realize how miserable it is to live this way.Congratulations for having the courage to be you.
Laura, I think this is one of the most powerful and moving posts I have read on Substack. The courage it took to write this and lay bare your life and your soul is astounding. Being true to yourself and following your own path is seldom the popular thing to do. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and accept yourself and tell the haters to go to hell is a rare thing. I am looking forward to reading more of your words!
Wow. Thank you for writing and putting yourself out there... not easy. One of my (promiscuous) stripper ex-girlfriends used to say "Sluts are healers." I've also always called myself a slut -- though, admittedly, being male it's mostly encouraged in society; women undoubtedly and unfairly bear the brunt. Again, good for you embracing and blowing up (sic) that paradigm... strong women who embrace themselves are a gift and any man worth anything knows that and reveres her.
So very sorry to read about your ex-husband, depression and alchoholism are the devil's twins. I volunteered on a suicide hotline for a few years and the number one thing they teach you in training is your only job on the anonymous other end of the phone is to listen. Nothing you say or do will change the person's mind, it's always their decision. It was his decision. But you listened to him. You loved him. You healed him, if only for a few years and in some unsaid way, with who you are.
If you are useless as a life partner and lonely and bored, sure, you can be a slut. Are you getting anywhere? Do you feel better? Change and find The Way before you grow old and are no longer physically or emotionally attractive.
Don’t label yourself. That will only pigeonhole you from within and without. You are who YOU are ! And to those who say you should find God. Perhaps they are missing something essential in their lives - God usually finds you.
New literary category: The Hoede..with which we may revisit some ot the greats with an OnlyFans twist...Hoede To A Nighingale,,,Hoede To A Grecian Condom...lure in the incel crowd...clickbait extraordinaire!
This article was incredibly insightful and moving. I really like your writing style. You made me think differently about a well trodden topic. Looking forward to your next post.
Got to be therapeutic to be able to write so well. Not being an American I do find it always strange that sex is such a taboo. I know friends who have had relations with thousands of partners. Did it make life easy ? Nope but they aren’t crippled by it. You have to understand that your culture is puritanical compared to Europe and Latin America. The real problem is not sex but grief. You lost someone who you were close to and it’s got to hurt. You might want to speak to a therapist about that. Don’t beat yourself up. I lost a few friends to suicide and it is painful and no one causes it. They aren’t doing well and we can’t be there every moment. Please stop equating your actions with what someone else does. You are not that powerful.
I have other hobbies. I’m a knitter, I play 5 instruments, I do triathlons and did my first marathon last year. I travel a lot and love to read and write, as well as gardening, cooking and baking. Do you have hobbies?
This is so incredibly powerful. Much respect to you. I'm a slut too. Strange how we allow our patriarchal society to use that word to try and shame only women. Why are we conditioned to be so afraid of sex and our bodies?
Your former husband sounds a lot like my older brother. He took his life 5 years ago. His lifelong depression and alcoholism and addiction led to a brutal last few years. His suicide came as something of a relief. Almost. Your description of remembering that as "sticky" and "not fully formed" really resonates for me. I don't know that we're really equipped to process those thoughts. Thanks for writing that.
Keep doing what you love and being brave enough to stand up against the world. Who really cares what strangers think anyway? You're beautiful in your righteousness.
Sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough words to express the multitudes a single woman can contain in the social conditioning we grew up in, and yet you seem to have done it. Don’t let them dim your light—they’re worried if we get too bright we’ll use it it burn this all down.
❤️❤️❤️
I was coming here to write my own comment but something about this "Sometimes it feels like there aren’t enough words to express the multitudes a single woman can contain" feels like you already said it better than i could.
This wasn't an easy post to read. Some of it was downright uncomfortable (some of it in the way that allows me to distance myself from the story and some of it that puts me and my experiences squarely and squirmingly in the crosshairs of the story), but it was so fucking honest that sitting with the discomfort seemed like a really important choice.
Thank you for writing this. It made me think of this quote from Lidia Yuknavitch (if you don't read her, go and do so immediately, she writes her own sluttiness like a master)
"We are allowed to tell the full range of our sexual experiences and the range of what desire means to us. This is a call to arms. You people need to stop pussing out. You need to start writing that stuff. If we don’t start telling that story people are going to think that 50 Shades Of Gray is the deal, and that is criminal. I am literally pleading with anyone who hears this. Please start writing truthful stories, contradictory stories, ambivalent stories, passionate, angry stories about sex and desire.“
Lidia Yuknavitch
That’s a powerful story.
And as a man who doesn’t care if you’re a slut—
It’s awesome to read something so honest and real.
It’s fucking tragic.
Don’t get me wrong—
I hate that it happened.
Suicide is never the answer.
But it’s not your fault.
Everyone has a choice.
You didn’t make it for him.
He made his own.
It’s crazy how we can feed ourselves to the machine—
Be everything the machine wants one minute—
And then get chewed up by the same machine.
By the same people—
Who were loving you just a second ago.
You said a lot of interesting things in this article.
And I love how you proved that mean bitch wrong.
Keep proving all those mean bitches wrong.
Thank you so much for your kindness & your comment, it means so much to me ❤️
This is a strong a powerful story and a well written one to boot - I found this post after starting with your "come down here with me" post. Rather than adding an extra comment I wanted to reply on this one as it pretty much summed up my thoughts exactly.
❤️❤️❤️
The sad part for me is that people will hate you for being who you are but love you for faking it because most lack your courage to be there authentic selves so the dwell in a world of fake as relationships to please people who don’t care about them unhappy until they realize how miserable it is to live this way.Congratulations for having the courage to be you.
❤️❤️❤️
Laura, I think this is one of the most powerful and moving posts I have read on Substack. The courage it took to write this and lay bare your life and your soul is astounding. Being true to yourself and following your own path is seldom the popular thing to do. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and accept yourself and tell the haters to go to hell is a rare thing. I am looking forward to reading more of your words!
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Holy smokes, the end of this knocked me over. You’re one brave lady.
😭❤️
Wow. Thank you for writing and putting yourself out there... not easy. One of my (promiscuous) stripper ex-girlfriends used to say "Sluts are healers." I've also always called myself a slut -- though, admittedly, being male it's mostly encouraged in society; women undoubtedly and unfairly bear the brunt. Again, good for you embracing and blowing up (sic) that paradigm... strong women who embrace themselves are a gift and any man worth anything knows that and reveres her.
So very sorry to read about your ex-husband, depression and alchoholism are the devil's twins. I volunteered on a suicide hotline for a few years and the number one thing they teach you in training is your only job on the anonymous other end of the phone is to listen. Nothing you say or do will change the person's mind, it's always their decision. It was his decision. But you listened to him. You loved him. You healed him, if only for a few years and in some unsaid way, with who you are.
If you are useless as a life partner and lonely and bored, sure, you can be a slut. Are you getting anywhere? Do you feel better? Change and find The Way before you grow old and are no longer physically or emotionally attractive.
Thanks!
Can you, like, not read good? Jesus definitely isn't factoring into her story. Go preach at someone else and leave her alone.
What an article, I'm speechless. Your writing is amazing. Thanks for sharing <3
❤️❤️❤️ thank you
Don’t label yourself. That will only pigeonhole you from within and without. You are who YOU are ! And to those who say you should find God. Perhaps they are missing something essential in their lives - God usually finds you.
And ❤️yourself
Thank you ❤️❤️
This is clearly some kind of trap to get me to subscribe. I’m kidding. I actually genuinely think this is interesting in how bold it is.
❤️❤️❤️
Wow. Thanks for posting this Laura. it's so powerful and really brave. This is your Way.
❤️❤️
New literary category: The Hoede..with which we may revisit some ot the greats with an OnlyFans twist...Hoede To A Nighingale,,,Hoede To A Grecian Condom...lure in the incel crowd...clickbait extraordinaire!
This article was incredibly insightful and moving. I really like your writing style. You made me think differently about a well trodden topic. Looking forward to your next post.
❤️❤️❤️
Got to be therapeutic to be able to write so well. Not being an American I do find it always strange that sex is such a taboo. I know friends who have had relations with thousands of partners. Did it make life easy ? Nope but they aren’t crippled by it. You have to understand that your culture is puritanical compared to Europe and Latin America. The real problem is not sex but grief. You lost someone who you were close to and it’s got to hurt. You might want to speak to a therapist about that. Don’t beat yourself up. I lost a few friends to suicide and it is painful and no one causes it. They aren’t doing well and we can’t be there every moment. Please stop equating your actions with what someone else does. You are not that powerful.
do you have other hobbies? or has this been the thing you want to do all of the time
I have other hobbies. I’m a knitter, I play 5 instruments, I do triathlons and did my first marathon last year. I travel a lot and love to read and write, as well as gardening, cooking and baking. Do you have hobbies?
This is so incredibly powerful. Much respect to you. I'm a slut too. Strange how we allow our patriarchal society to use that word to try and shame only women. Why are we conditioned to be so afraid of sex and our bodies?
Your former husband sounds a lot like my older brother. He took his life 5 years ago. His lifelong depression and alcoholism and addiction led to a brutal last few years. His suicide came as something of a relief. Almost. Your description of remembering that as "sticky" and "not fully formed" really resonates for me. I don't know that we're really equipped to process those thoughts. Thanks for writing that.
Keep doing what you love and being brave enough to stand up against the world. Who really cares what strangers think anyway? You're beautiful in your righteousness.